Halloween is a season of spooky scares and costume creativity — or, even better, both things combined. These Halloween costumes are specifically designed to strike fear into the hearts of legal professionals, both in-house and at law firms. Sure, blood and gore can be frightening — but at least they’re rare occurrences compared to regular terrors of the spinning wheel of death, the phishing attacks, or Slack data.
So whatever your reasons for wanting to give legal professionals a scare, here are some ideas.
“Spinning wheel of death”
Painful document load times or search speeds cause this loathed computer icon to appear all too often for many legal professionals. (Longtime DISCO Ediscovery users may have forgotten about it, given the platform’s subsecond load and search times).
Wear whatever you want, but end every conversation with several threats to sue.
Email from your boss saying: “Can we chat?”/“Pls fix”
Bonus points if your Halloween party is on a Friday.
RIP to the hours of document review lost to redoing work from missed QC or making clients happy. (If writeoffs are a persistent problem, check out DISCO Review.)
Simply dress up in a suit and carry around prompts from the genius Twitter account Zen Lawyer Journey.
(For more great legal humor accounts, check out our blog roundup.)
Make yourself into an impossibly long piece of paper — think, longer than a CVS receipt — with the most inane line items you can think of (deduplication fee, expanded data fee, analytics add-ons, hundreds of hours billed to manage a review, etc). Fortunately, those used to DISCO Ediscovery’s flat-rate pricing will be able to have a laugh at this costume.
The company holiday party
The infinite number of legal issues that can arise at any holiday party make it a liability nightmare for an in-house lawyer (Above the Law has an entire section devoted to holiday parties). Feel free to get creative in which ones you choose — a favorite we’ve heard was “stuck in a corner with your boss at a party.”
Get a name tag with your last name misspelled by one letter, and urgently ask people to open an attachment to your costume.
All legal professionals
At the risk of perpetuating a stereotype, many choose this field specifically to avoid math. Paste some numbers and equations on yourself and watch legal professionals avoid you all night.
Perhaps more targeted towards those scarred by the days of paper, even the sight of one Banker’s Box makes veteran legal professionals wonder how many rooms full of boxes are hiding in the wings. Better yet, create a train of Banker's Boxes trailing behind your costume, or make it a group costume so you can gang up on your unsuspecting colleagues.
Voted the scariest data type in last year’s Halloween poll for a reason. Seriously, have you ever seen a .JSON file? It’s the stuff of nightmares.
A simple “choose your own adventure” costume
Short on time and need a costume? Construct a black bar across your person and you have myriad options to frighten lawyers. A redaction? An appointment with the Bar Association? Make it red and you can be a redline.
Any legal software that isn’t DISCO
We saved the scariest for last! Imagine the horrors that can emerge without DISCO — from time wasted on manual processes to battered deposition binders with sticky notes to an overblown bill from a provider estimating based on unexpanded data and charging based on expanded data. If your legal technology is giving you nightmares, give us a call.
Looking for more spooky legal tech content? Check out these other blogs:
The 7 Most Nightmare-Inducing Data Types in Document Review, Ranked
The Hall of Forgotten Discovery Horrors
11 Short and Scary Tales from the Ediscovery Crypt